Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Week 1 Storytelling: The Skank and the Neighbor

THE SKANK AND THE NEIGHBOR


The skank always sleeps during the day since she is always hung over from the previous night's escapades.  When the sun goes down and the bars open up however, she puts on her shiniest, most revealing outfit and puts on her makeup warpaint. Soon, her obnoxiously loud "Oh My God's" and "Literally's" can be heard all around campus corner, and she begins her hunt for the athletes and older fraternity members with whom she loves to hook up.


Now there was a certain older skank who had become very cranky after failing so many classes and lost her father's financial support, and she would explode with anger if anyone interrupted her beauty sleep. One fall semester afternoon as she was crashing in her apartment suffering from a major hangover, her next door neighbor started watching a movie loudly on his new surround sound system. She made her way outside and traveled to her neighbor's door.
"Hey turn that crap down," she said to her neighbor. "What's your problem? You are literally so loud right now, just saying!"
But her neighbor said that he could do whatever he wanted in his own apartment and it wasn't passed quiet hours yet. After that, he turned the volume up on his surround sound even louder to the point it would reverberate the thin walls.
The skank knew that she wouldn't get anywhere trying to convince her neighbor to turn down the tv. She also wasn't all the way sober from the night before and all of the free drinks she had accumulated through the night. So she changed her attitude quickly and said to him with a flirty tone.
"Well," she said, "do you mind if I watch it with you, I literally love this movie. Actually, I've got some pop and sour patch kids that I've been saving up and we can snuggle up and watch it in my apartment on my comfy bed and eat snacks and maybe do some more stuff."
The one tracked minded guy was taken in by the skank's advances. So he grabbed his movie and bolted over to her apartment, where upon entering he was pelted with the previous nights beer bottles and left with a concussion and glass shard cuts.

Why can't girls travel in groups of 2 or 4?
Because they can't even. 

Author's Note:  I used the Aesop fable "The Owl and the Grasshopper" as inspiration for this story, which can be found at Gutenburg.  I used the idea of a morally ambiguous girl for this retelling mainly because I couldn't think of anything else and the stereotypical college girl is always funny to me, so sorry if this is offensive to anyone, I was having a brain fart so this had to do.

Bibliography:  "The Owl and the Grasshopper" by ÆSOP, from The ÆSOP for Children
(1919). Web Source: Gutenburg

5 comments:

  1. I realized that your used the story "The Owl and the Grasshopper" to tell this girl's story is attractive and brilliant, I never read the story of "The Owl and the Grasshopper", but your story help me understand the meaning of "The Owl and the Grasshopper" that want to told to the readers. Actually your description about a morally ambiguous girl has already caught the readers' attentions. Trust me!

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  2. I definitely wanted to look at this story as offensive because I am obviously a college girl but I know so many that do not fit into this "stereotype". However, pertaining to "The Owl and the Grasshopper" I can see the relation as you created the story. As the previous commenter stated, this story about the skank really does keep the readers attention so great job!

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  3. Well that was entertaining! You took the idea of changing the venue and characters while keeping the story elements the same and created something truly modern and relatable. Probably the funniest thing in the story to me was the conclusion, since it doesn’t even attempt to match the original’s concluding lines. I was caught off guard by your use of the familiar joke and couldn’t help but chuckle.

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  4. This story was a very interesting read. I think the modern take you had on The Owl and the Grasshopper was different and definitely not something I would have ever thought of. Something I found very funny and something that caught me off-guard was the "old-timey" language mixed in with the modern language. I was not expecting that when I began reading this story.

    The only thing I wish was included was more on the background of the original Aesop Tale in the Author's Note. I had to go look up the story and read it after I read yours and then I had to read yours again. Maybe my brain is just fried, but that would have been nice to have a little background.

    However, I thought this was a very interesting take on the story and I really appreciated you moving the story to a modern time, although the stereotyping could be a little offense to some people.

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  5. I thought your change of characters was very interesting. I always find amusing stories that relate to modern day in a pop culture type way, so your depiction of the stereotypical college girl was pretty clever. I got a general sense of the idea of the original story from your retelling and I would guess that the moral had something to do with not being misled by false charms as that is what did in the neighbor in your story. I also loved the joke you threw in at the end! I laughed out loud!

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