Week 7 Storytelling: Honey Do's

Once upon a time in suburban America, a man lived with his wife.  They had achieved the American dream and a two-story house with a white-picket fence.  One day, the man's wife became sick and wouldn't take any of the medicine which they had in their house.  He kept offering her pain pills, fever-reducing pills, and decongestant pills, but she kept refusing to take the medicine.  She kept getting sicker and sicker yet there was nothing the man could do.

"Well if you won't take anything we have here, what would you like?"  The man said trying every option he could.

"Um, go to Walgreens," she said, "and get me Motrin."  Off the husband went to the drug store to get the medicine which they inconveniently did not have at home.

When he returned with the Motrin, he brought it to his wife. 

Upon seeing the medicine, she said, "I can't take that, it's normal strength Motrin! I need maximum strength!"  The husband grabbed the receipt and medicine and went back to the drug store to exchange the pills.  When he came home he handed her the new pills.

"I can't take that, its Motrin maximum strength AM, I need Motrin maximum strength PM!" She said indignantly.  The man again grabbed the receipt and medicine then went back to the store.  Finally, after returning again, he gave her the pills she wanted and she eventually got better.

The next day however, the husband succumbed to the same illness that his wife had.

Medicine Aisle. Web source: Pollard Press

"Honey, I don't feel good, could you go get me a movie to watch?" He said in a raspy voice.  Off the wife went to the movie store to get him a movie.  When she returned, the husband was dismayed to see she had brought home a chick flick, "The Fault in Our Stars."

"You know I wouldn't like those types of movies, could you go get me something that is funny?" The husband said.  Off his wife went to find a funny movie.  When she returned, however, the husband realized much to his dismay that she brought home "Grown-Ups 2."

"Honey, you know that Adam Sandler movies are terrible anymore and he's just spewing them out for the money,"  the husband said in a sad tone, reflecting his broken soul which missed the days when Adam Sandler made genuinely funny movies.  "Could you just go rent "The LEGO Movie?"'

Off his wife went again to find the husband a movie.  However, foul luck befell the wife.  While inside the movie store, she forgot to lock her car door.  A serial killer was on the loose and decided the wife would be his next victim.  The killer hopped into the back of the unlocked car and waited for the wife.  After she returned to her car and began back home, the killer pulled out a gun and told the woman she was going to die.  Pleading, she asked the serial killer to spare her life and instead take her husband's.  After much consideration, the serial killer agreed and they continued back to the couple's house.  The husband greeted his wife expecting a surprisingly funny movie that all ages could enjoy with a well rounded cast; instead, he met with his own demise.

The End.

Author's Note:  Sorry about the terrible conclusion, but the story that I used, Motikatika, had a similar situation.  Motikatika is about an African couple where the wife gets sick and the husband goes and gets things for her to make her feel better.  After several outings where the husband doesn't bring the wife what she wants, he finally makes her feel better but in the process he becomes sick.  The same thing repeats where the wife goes out, however, on the last trip, my story diverges from the original.  The wife comes across an ogre and offers her magical baby to be eaten in exchange for her own life.  After the magician baby pulls several fast ones on the wife and ogre who attempt to catch him, the husband is eaten in the process and the story ends.  The frustration I felt after reading the original story will hopefully match your reaction at my terrible ending.  I omitted a version of the magical baby because I couldn't figure out how on earth to make a similar character for mine.

Bibliography:  The Crimson Fairy Book by Andrew Lang, 1903.