I really love the background that you have chosen for your page! It is a little spooky, so it is very fitting for telling stories about monsters! I also like the picture of the werewolf; it definitely got my attention.
I really like the personality that comes out in the storyteller during your introduction. However, you might want to consider telling the readers who that storyteller is (a name, or some other way to identify him).
You did a really nice job of bringing up all the different scars the storyteller has and giving just a brief description of how he got them! I am assuming that each of your stories will be about the different scars? If so, I am very interested and looking forward to reading them. However, I think it would also be hilarious to tell a story about the jealous woman in Italy, or at least incorporate her into one of the stories somehow!
Your introduction was written nicely, but I just have a few “housekeeping” tips. I am a very visual person, so seeing one large paragraph can be slightly intimidating at times. With that, you may want to consider breaking your introduction up into a few smaller paragraphs. Also, even though I love the orange font since it fit the theme so nicely, it is a little difficult to read at times (mainly around the window on your background).
Overall, I think you did a really nice job, and I am looking forward to reading your stories!
Hi Chris! Your coverpage is pretty cool. When I first clicked on the link to bring me to your page, a bunch of different images pooped up in my head. The first was when I read your title. “Monster Hunter” It instantly reminded me of this Xbox game called Evolve. The whole plot for that game is that you and 3 other teammates are on one side and one other person is on the other, but that one guy is huge monster! So, it is basically a 4 v 1. The next thing noticed was the werewolf. It looks frightening so whatever your storybook will be about I am sure that this monster will definitely be evil. The last think that caught my attention was your background. It looks like is in an old cabin or something. It reminds me a medieval setting like from the game Skyrim.
Your introduction was very good. It felt like the guy talking was a (excuse my language) Badass! I seems like he is an old hero who retired from hunting and now just wants to pass his stories around. My favorite part about your introduction is how you had the main character introduce is first story about his shoulder. Not only am I excited to get to read this story, but also who knows what different body parts may have scars and stories to tell about them. There are endless possibilities!
I'll admit, I was drawn to your storybook because I thought it might be about the game Monster Hunter. That may not be the theme, but I certainly wasn't disappointed! I LOVE the background you chose. It really sets the mood and it drew me in and got me more interested in what was going on. And reading the introduction with that in the background really made the whole random-dude-talking-about-adventures thing more believable. I like the way you wrote the intro, although I'd love to know more about the world that these people live in. You mention Norway so it must be set in our world, but what time? And what kind of terrifying version of our world must this be? I don't know if these things will be relevant to the stories you'll add, but if they are then I'd really love to see more of that developed.
As for the design, I already mentioned how much I love the background. I like the moodiness that the color scheme gives off, but I'm not too sure about the orange color of the font yet. On certain parts of the background it's hard to read. I'd suggest playing around a bit with colors to see what really pops. I don't mean like neon colors or anything, but if you the background is kind of orange so maybe you could look at a color wheel and play with the colors across from orange. That'd just make everything kind of separate and easier to read, I think. Then again, I'm a graphic designer and I tend to overdo these things.
From the start I was very intrigued by your storybook. The title alone, "monster hunter," made me think that it sounded like an exciting and otherworldly tale. The home page to your storybook is fantastic. The background seems very fitting for the story you have chosen to write, and the werewolf image is a great attention catcher. It's certainly menacing! If I had one suggestion it would be to make the image a little larger. I'm not sure if that's the biggest version or not, but if you could make the image take up more of the page I think it would make an improvement. Although it may just be the phone that I'm viewing it on!
Reading through the introduction to your storybook, I was really impressed. The vernacular you chose for the narrator was perfect for a grizzled old veteran. I could really envision the old monster hunter sitting by the fire (I imagined this intro taking place in the background image) and showing all the scars he had accumulated.
The tale of the vampire was a great origin story for the monster hunter. The vampire and the narrator fighting it out while they were drunk was funny.
Your theme of monster hunter was very interesting to me since I have a similar theme for my storybook.
Your cover page is awesome. At first I thought your picture might be better if it were bigger, but after more careful inspection I thought it was really cool that it almost seemed as if the werewolf was in the room depicted in the background.
The text choice for the story was excellent. During your introduction, it might be better to add a picture of what your hunter would look like. I would suggest a man with many scars since you give a brief description of where they came from.
During the fight with the vampire, you mention "this scar." You may want to clarify what the scar looked like or add a picture to give the reader a better idea of what the scar looked like. You may also want to add a colon at the end- "start up my new profession: Monster Hunting." Overall, I enjoyed your retelling of the story. I thought you provided a great amount of detail and description which allowed the reader to picture exactly what was going on in the small town in Germany.
Hey Chris, I just wanted to say thank you for your storybook comment. You gave some good pointers on how to improve my story as well as some encouraging words to keep me motivated. Thank you!
I was just reading back through the comments on my Comment Wall, and wanted to thank you for the feedback you gave me! Even though I have not got around to changing up my format and the colors like you suggested, I still really appreciate the opinion.
Chris, from the start, I was intrigued by your storybook. The layout is great--I love the background and font that you chose! The dark colors give it a kind of menacing look and they definitely set the tone for the rest of the story.
Your introduction was very well written. I can almost hear a deep, hoarse, gravelly voice telling these stories to me as I read (side note: sometimes I imagine the voice of Dean Winchester from Supernatural in my head--but maybe that's just me). You did a great job describing the man's life and his credentials, so to speak, as well as setting up the premise of his story.
In "The Vampire," the tone you set at the beginning continued--the reader can tell from the colloquialisms that this is a tough soldier who is a little rough around the edges, but also one who has a bit of a sense of humor (descriptive words like "jovially" jump out at me). Overall, this was very well written and kept me hooked the entire time! Great job, and I hope to read more of your work in the future.
Hi, I’m from the Epics of India class! So I’m a little intrigued by your storybook background (am I the only one that thinks it looks like something out of WoW?). I definitely think you should try and find a background that isn’t a game screenshot (something real preferably). As for your intro story, I thought it was interesting and the voice of the narrator really rang true. I just think you need to separate out your paragraphs more instead of just having two big chunks of text. I really love your narrator, I just think you can space out his writing more so that it’s less overwhelming. I don’t know if I like your werewolf picture being on the coverpage. I think something else would be more fitting, but I’m just not sure what. Maybe a hooded man hunched over a pint? I don’t know, but I think you should save the pictures of monsters for the stories involving said monsters. I also think you should include a picture in your introduction. You got this great, captivating narrator and I’d like to see him or his surroundings a bit more. Now, don’t get me wrong, I really liked your storybook, I just think changing these things would make it a bit better!
Hi, Chris! I think your storybook idea is really interesting. First of all, I like the background you chose a lot. It enhances the scene in the narration in a way I haven’t seen other storybooks do. The picture on your cover page also worked well with the darker theme of your storybook.
I thought the voice of the narrator was great. Throughout the introduction I could picture an old, scarred man sitting in an old tavern (like the background) telling all young men about the old days when monsters ran-a-muck. You did great giving background in the introduction. With him talking about what creatures had scarred him in different ways, we really got the sense of the type of life he had lived. You also did great setting the scene in Germany’s forest. I also thought the font was very fitting for the theme off the storybook. The only recommendation I have for the introduction would be to maybe add a picture. While it’s not a big thing, I think having another monster picture would be great for the look and feel of the page.
I also liked your first story. The picture you used for the story was absolutely perfect. It continued with the dark mood and theme that fit perfectly with the story’s plot. I’m glad you made some of the story more ambiguous than the original, like not including the specifics for reviving the couple or the amount of wood needed for the vampire’s pyre. I think that would have distracted from the overall story and lost some of the narrator’s voice. Really great job so far! I’ll look forward to reading more of your storybook.
Your cover page is awesome and I like the image that you have decided to use. The background to your site makes much more sense once readers begin the introduction. Since the background is darker, I like how you decided to use a white font to make the text eye catching. Your storybook is titled "Monster Hunter," and I like how this plays into the choice of narrator. I am very interested to see what your stories have in store! Since your narrator is telling a story from his past, presumably around or near a fire, I like how you decided not to add an image to your introduction. This gives the reader room to come up with their own interpretations of the monsters, and the scars on the narrator, that you describe.
Like the introduction, your first story was well written! I have not read the Russian Folktales Unit, but when I make comparisons using your author's note (for the original) and your story, I can say that I find your story much more interesting. I like how you opted to leave out a few details in order to reconstruct the story to be your own. The only thing I would suggest is maybe replacing your image where your narrator first describes coming across the vampire in the cemetery, but that is just my preference. I will have to come back and read more of your stories in the following weeks, good job!
I know I commented this on the storytelling post but I wanted to let you know that I really like the layout of your blog. I love earthy toned colors so the colors of your page are awesome and the map up at the top! I am horrible at geography but I love old fashioned maps! One thing that I noticed it, the labels at the very top, all of the week labels except the first week are hidden. It isn't too much of a problem, I just noticed.
I really liked the way your introduction to your storybook project was written! It was engaging and mysterious all at once. The way the old man has a story to go with each scar is so intriguing, and his good humor makes me want to hear all of the stories.
I am also a huge fan of the cabin background you used! It definitely sets the tone well.
I was a little confused during the transition from the introduction to the first story. At the end of the introduction, the old man said he was going to tell the story behind the scar on his shoulder. But the beginning of the first story starts with him telling the story of how he got the scar on his forehead.
I was also a little confused that he had to go pick up his revolver and sword if he usually carried them with him.
I liked how the ogre outsmarted the man in the end. It's nice when stories end more realistically sometimes. But I was curious as to how the ogre could turn itself into a woman and what it was planning to do with the arm. Was it going to reattach it?
Thanks for pointing out the messed up chronology, I thought I had fixed it but formatting hasn't been working for me. It should go intro->vampire->ogre, I wouldn't have noticed it for a while. I'll keep trying to fix the formatting. Thanks again
Chris, I love your storybook idea. I love vampires and werewolves and other such creatures so I had to see what yours was about. I was definitely not disappointed. I think your homepage is just wonderful. I love the background you chose. The cabin was an obvious choice for the hunting aspect and something about a secluded cabin in the cold, dense woods and monsters just goes hand in hand. I really like the image you used too. Since you have a very detailed background using a simple image was nice so it didn't look too busy and neither took away from the other. I also like that it almost looks like the werewolf is inside the cabin. Your introduction was written very well. I like that you gave the man telling the story some background of how he came to be a monster hunter and how he got all of his crazy scars. My only complaint is that it can be hard to read because of the background. Making the font white definitely helped, but at certain points I felt like my eyes had to refocus. But other than that, I love this idea and I want to keep reading!
Hi Chris! I decided to come back to your storybook this week for my free choice because it so impressed me the last time, and I'm glad I did! I was pleasantly surprised to see that you chose to retell the story of the Ogre of Rashomon--when I was brainstorming storybook ideas, I too thought about doing a monsters theme, and this was my top storytelling choice.
Your use of details and imagery was very well done, and I could vividly see the events unfolding as you told your story. My favorite parts about this, however, were the twists that you added, all the changes that you made to the original tale. One thing that gets me is how our hero gets his scar--after all that, his injury comes from tripping over the arm, ouch. (Granted, it was dark and I probably would have done the same thing...but still, haha.)
I do like how you changed the details of where the arm was kept, and how you mentioned that the hunter would see it as more of a trophy--certainly, someone with his credentials and goals would do so. You're doing a great job of portraying the protagonist's personality through his words and thoughts rather than describing him outright.
Hey Chris! I remembered reading your story earlier in the year and it had a strong focus on the militia and combat so when I saw the title of your storybook, I thought it was very fitting for you. Your title, “Monster Hunter”, reminded me of the show Supernatural. I’m not sure if it is still airing, but it is about two brothers that travel and fight against evil supernatural beings.
The whole look of your site is great. I like your background picture being the bar where all the stories are being told. It adds a sort of spooky feel to the website. The font is easy to see against the back. However, it is a little bit difficult to read because the letters are in all caps. It is not a huge issue though.
You also write very well. You have a great use of imagery and imagination. The content of your stories and introduction are thrilling and creative. Your spins on the original stories really make the story your own. It also works well with your overall storybook. I can see that you think through each story and make sure the details are precise for readers. Your whole website fits together very nicely! I cannot wait to see your last story!
Woah! You have a cool background for your coverpage! Where did it come from? It looks as if it's from a video game. Talk about a great way to make your readers feel as if they are part of the story.
The tone you create in your introduction and the diction you use set up your story wonderfully. When combined with the background, the narrator's way of speaking evokes that feeling of excitement one feels when he or she is about to hear a story. I will say that the white font can be a bit difficult to read at times, but I don't think you have a better choice. A really light tan might work, or you might try experimenting with a different font.
Your first story, "The Vampire," comes across as realistic. The plot elements are believable, and the narrator tells it in a way that fits his personality. I will say that I was surprised to see that the arrival of dawn signaled the end of the vampire. I was expecting that your protagonist would find a way to burn the vampire alive. However, I don't think that's something you need to change. All in all, I do not have too many suggestions. I would just read it out loud and see what you think for yourself! Great work!
I was excited to check back in with your storybook project this week and see how you are progressing. I really enjoyed the addition of your vampire story. I thought the pacing moved quickly, which was good, and you gave enough explanation as to the magic and the vampire in most sections.
The only thing I was confused about was why the vampire would want to bring the newlyweds back to life the next day. Did he want to be a hero deep down? Or did he have some sort of selfish motive for bringing the couple back to life?
In the sentence "The villagers burned the remains of the vampire on a pyre, making sure no part of escaped the blaze. After I had rested up and recovered from my wounds, I continued my journey back home a richer man," I think there is a word missing between 'of' and 'escaped.' I just wanted to let you know.
I really liked your plot twist where the rooster's crow stopped the vampire. Was that because he couldn't be outside during daylight?
I thought you did a great job of making the necessary changes to the story that you talked about in your author's note. It was adapted well into your character's perspective.
I think that you have done a great job with your cover page! I really like the colors you picked and think they speak to the darker theme. I also think that the picture you used is great! It really is creepy so I feel that it is helping to paint a picture of what is to come in the readers mind! I like how you used a background picture on the page instead of just a solid color. I have not seen many others do that, but I think it enhances the visual appeal greatly! The only suggestion I have for you about the cover page is to make your picture in the center of the page. I feel that it draws the eye off to the side, and it would be more beneficial to have it in the middle!
I love your introduction post! I think that you picked such a cool theme for your storybook and it will allow for you to be so creative! I think your introduction is written very well and that you were successful in painting the dark room that the wolf was sitting in while telling this part of the story.
I really liked your vampire story. I think you did such a great job of being very descriptive. I love how the wolf does not threaten the vampire at this point. I think the picture is also great and really helps to strengthen the story! Overall great job so far!
I really picked out your storybook solely on the name of the site and because it is getting close to Halloween. The homepage looks like you really took your time to make this site fit your stories well. Your background, the pictures, the fonts, the colors, everything goes along with your theme.
I really like the introduction and the way that this character is narrating. He sounds like my weird great uncle. As they say, chicks dig scars and glory is forever! But really, you set up the whole theme well with a lot of dialogue from the hunter and lots of little examples to give us a taste of what it is yet to come. Also, bonus points for making them into actual war stories and for him smoking a pipe while telling the story.
I only read the story with the ogre in it. Your choice to match each story up with a specific scar really adds to the character and the small details that sometimes get lost in fairy tales and folk stories. The setting still being in Germany really sticks to the old stories so that you do not even have to change them much if you did not want to. The story was very enjoyable, and the fact that the scar was actually just from him tripping was hilarious. I really enjoy your theme and your stories so far, and I will definitely be back to read the rest of them. Good job!
I still really like your design and think that it is very fitting for the story of the ogre. The picture you used was fantastic as it showed an ogre that matched the description in the story. I really liked your story and thought it was very clever of the ogre to disguise himself as a person in order to regain his arm. The descriptive detail you used throughout the story was awesome, make sure to keep that up for the rest of your stories! The story was great and sounded like it came out of a novel. It was very interesting that the people turned on the main character after one failure when he had done so much for the town. I think that says a lot about the, “What have you done for me lately?” attitude that is rampant among society today. I thought your storytelling was clever and it was nice to see where the monster killer came from and what his origins were. I loved how the scars tell the stories as that is true for us as we grow up, but the scars are much more significant. I can’t wait to see what comes next!
For starters I LOVE your sites theme! It is very different from most of the lay outs I have seen and definitely sets you a part from the rest in a good way! I also love that you are having an old man telling these stories. I like that you can tell he has been through some rough things in his life. He is a war vet and a previous monster hunter, yet he still funny! I think it is interesting and genius that each story is going to go with one of this man's scars. You know that these are going to have to be pretty intense stories to have left a scar on this tough man. I would hate to be one of the creatures he hunted!
I love your vampire story. It is written very well! I read through it very easily! I like that you kept so close to the original story. It is not one that I am overly familiar with, but I liked it a lot.
I liked the Ogre story as well. It was a really exciting and action packed story. I had no idea that ogres could change appearances. All I can think about with ogres is shrek.
You have done a really great job with your storybook! I love it! As a conclusion, I would like to know if you watch Supernatural? If not, based off of your storybook, I feel like you would really like it.
This is my second visit to your storybook this semester. I have to say, your title is definitely one that sticks in your mind. When I looked at my storybook group for this week and saw "Monster Hunter," I immediately was taken back to your tale of the grizzled old monster hunter veteran telling the stories of his youth. I really enjoyed this exciting and supernatural series of stories you came up with, so I was eager to see what the monster hunter's next tale would be after his encounter with the drunken vampire last time around.
Your tale of the Ogre had me on the edge on my seat the whole time I was reading it. These truly sound like some nasty creatures to deal with! The picture of the Ogre provided an even more terrifying image of these creatures; the ogre depicted looks truly monstrous, and those claws look like they could do some damage to the monster hunter. When the monster hunter was going out to kill the last ogre wreaking havoc in the area, I thought surely the scar would come from the ogre's attack. I thought it was funny that after all this battling, the scar came from the hunter simply tripping and hitting his head on a rock.
Hey Chris, this was actually my first time to visit your Storybook site and I was very impressed. The home page honestly looked like a combination between a horror film and video game. I thought it was perfect to represent your overall story and theme! The picture of the werewolf is really spooky!!! I thought you did an excellent job on the introduction, having the old man explain his scars were awesome. I instantly wanted to know more about the stories behind all the scars. I had never read the Russian folktales unit, however, I kind of wish I had after reading your first story! I thought it was neat how you changed the setting from Russia to Germany since you have more of a background with Germany. I love the titles for your stories with the mythological creatures. I thought you did an excellent job with the photos for each of the stories; they were perfect! I liked how both of your stories included so much adventure and action, which made them so much fun to read! I can’t wait to read the next story!
Your introduction starts off great! I like the background choice. It almost makes you feel like you are in an old creepy cabin being told these stories. The way you voice the monster hunter actually had me reading the introduction with an old raspy voice envisioned in my head. The idea of this man telling his stories behind his scars and how he got them was a very clever way to introduce the narrator for your stories to come. It also allows you to connect the various stories through the use of his physical scars. By having him point out the scars (the one on his eye, shoulder, etc) it makes the reader want to know why did he get the one on his arm or what about the one on his shoulder? You did a great job in captivating the reader to want to know about his scars.
I read your first story about the vampire and really enjoyed it! I like how you mentioned he was “emboldebed by the booze.” It seems very realistic that a guy would make a dumb decision like go out into the night with a vampire on the loose, when he has had a night with the guys drinking. You do a great job with using adjectives to describe the dialogue. Instead of ______ said. It was ____ said jovially or menacingly. It adds personality to the characters of the story. I thought your story was great! My only suggestion would be to maybe switch back at the end to mention that this battle was how he got the scare on his shoulder, since that’s how you introduced the story at the end of your introduction.
When I first saw the cover page to your storybook my eyes were immediately drawn to the picture of the werewolf. The image itself has a lot of detail to it. You can see some of the individual hairs on the creature. The picture helps set the eerie mood that you are trying convey to the reader. The background image reminds me a lot of the online game Runescape. It has this rpg feel to it.
The persona that you create in your introduction is done really well. I can just picture this big burly man with a tremendous beard to go with his size. You did a good job in hinting at what monsters we may or may not see. It is also good to hear what some of the monsters are.
I enjoyed the vampire story quite a bit. I liked your descriptions of the way people speak. I would have liked you to describe the scar a little bit more. Since it is a major plot point to your stories I would have liked to hear it described a bit more.
I'm back again to read about some more monster hunting. I am positive that I've read your storybook before, but I couldn't find my old comment. I don't know what happened? Anyways, I love the whole look and feel of your storybook. It is definitely has the creepy and scary vibe that I would expect from a Monster Hunter's website haha. I still that your idea is one of the most original in the class. I think talking to a retired monster hunter about his old adventures would be awesome!
I really enjoyed your story about the vampire, but I like this one about the ogre even more! I still like that each scar our hunter has leads him to another story. I also kind of like that the ogre didn't give him the scar, but that he got it by tripping over its arm haha! I like that at this point in his career, the hunter is almost exclusively concerned with his reputation. With how easily he dispatched that ogre, it would seem that his reputation was well deserved. He still seems like a grizzly old man telling war stories, and I love it. Your storybook is definitely one of my favorites. Nice work, man!
Chris, you chose a video game background haha! I love it! It reminds me of the Elder Scrolls in a way. Is that right? Your introduction really caught my attention because it almost reminded me of a game story. I can imagine his scars and the war he probably endured with monsters. Good job putting some humor in the story as well. That’s one way to be able to move your stories forward by someone telling their experiences and memories of a world.
The Vampire is an awesome story too. He sounds like a pretty bad monster terrorizing everyone but it throws me off that the vampire is educated and willing to help people. Of course, if he had just trusted people he wouldn’t have to kill everyone once they learn about him! The hunter really gets himself into some serious situations, huh?
Overall you have an impressive way of telling these stories. I love the Russian folktales! That’s an amazing way to recreate your own story especially since vampire stories are very big in that unit. The hunter is a fantastic character and I really enjoyed reading your storybook! Good job and keep up the creativity. You definitely deserve that nomination!
Hi Chris,
ReplyDeleteI really love the background that you have chosen for your page! It is a little spooky, so it is very fitting for telling stories about monsters! I also like the picture of the werewolf; it definitely got my attention.
I really like the personality that comes out in the storyteller during your introduction. However, you might want to consider telling the readers who that storyteller is (a name, or some other way to identify him).
You did a really nice job of bringing up all the different scars the storyteller has and giving just a brief description of how he got them! I am assuming that each of your stories will be about the different scars? If so, I am very interested and looking forward to reading them. However, I think it would also be hilarious to tell a story about the jealous woman in Italy, or at least incorporate her into one of the stories somehow!
Your introduction was written nicely, but I just have a few “housekeeping” tips. I am a very visual person, so seeing one large paragraph can be slightly intimidating at times. With that, you may want to consider breaking your introduction up into a few smaller paragraphs. Also, even though I love the orange font since it fit the theme so nicely, it is a little difficult to read at times (mainly around the window on your background).
Overall, I think you did a really nice job, and I am looking forward to reading your stories!
Hi Chris! Your coverpage is pretty cool. When I first clicked on the link to bring me to your page, a bunch of different images pooped up in my head. The first was when I read your title. “Monster Hunter” It instantly reminded me of this Xbox game called Evolve. The whole plot for that game is that you and 3 other teammates are on one side and one other person is on the other, but that one guy is huge monster! So, it is basically a 4 v 1. The next thing noticed was the werewolf. It looks frightening so whatever your storybook will be about I am sure that this monster will definitely be evil. The last think that caught my attention was your background. It looks like is in an old cabin or something. It reminds me a medieval setting like from the game Skyrim.
ReplyDeleteYour introduction was very good. It felt like the guy talking was a (excuse my language) Badass! I seems like he is an old hero who retired from hunting and now just wants to pass his stories around. My favorite part about your introduction is how you had the main character introduce is first story about his shoulder. Not only am I excited to get to read this story, but also who knows what different body parts may have scars and stories to tell about them. There are endless possibilities!
I'll admit, I was drawn to your storybook because I thought it might be about the game Monster Hunter. That may not be the theme, but I certainly wasn't disappointed! I LOVE the background you chose. It really sets the mood and it drew me in and got me more interested in what was going on. And reading the introduction with that in the background really made the whole random-dude-talking-about-adventures thing more believable. I like the way you wrote the intro, although I'd love to know more about the world that these people live in. You mention Norway so it must be set in our world, but what time? And what kind of terrifying version of our world must this be? I don't know if these things will be relevant to the stories you'll add, but if they are then I'd really love to see more of that developed.
ReplyDeleteAs for the design, I already mentioned how much I love the background. I like the moodiness that the color scheme gives off, but I'm not too sure about the orange color of the font yet. On certain parts of the background it's hard to read. I'd suggest playing around a bit with colors to see what really pops. I don't mean like neon colors or anything, but if you the background is kind of orange so maybe you could look at a color wheel and play with the colors across from orange. That'd just make everything kind of separate and easier to read, I think. Then again, I'm a graphic designer and I tend to overdo these things.
Can't wait to see how everything turns out!
Hi Chris!
ReplyDeleteFrom the start I was very intrigued by your storybook. The title alone, "monster hunter," made me think that it sounded like an exciting and otherworldly tale. The home page to your storybook is fantastic. The background seems very fitting for the story you have chosen to write, and the werewolf image is a great attention catcher. It's certainly menacing! If I had one suggestion it would be to make the image a little larger. I'm not sure if that's the biggest version or not, but if you could make the image take up more of the page I think it would make an improvement. Although it may just be the phone that I'm viewing it on!
Reading through the introduction to your storybook, I was really impressed. The vernacular you chose for the narrator was perfect for a grizzled old veteran. I could really envision the old monster hunter sitting by the fire (I imagined this intro taking place in the background image) and showing all the scars he had accumulated.
The tale of the vampire was a great origin story for the monster hunter. The vampire and the narrator fighting it out while they were drunk was funny.
Your theme of monster hunter was very interesting to me since I have a similar theme for my storybook.
ReplyDeleteYour cover page is awesome. At first I thought your picture might be better if it were bigger, but after more careful inspection I thought it was really cool that it almost seemed as if the werewolf was in the room depicted in the background.
The text choice for the story was excellent. During your introduction, it might be better to add a picture of what your hunter would look like. I would suggest a man with many scars since you give a brief description of where they came from.
During the fight with the vampire, you mention "this scar." You may want to clarify what the scar looked like or add a picture to give the reader a better idea of what the scar looked like. You may also want to add a colon at the end- "start up my new profession: Monster Hunting." Overall, I enjoyed your retelling of the story. I thought you provided a great amount of detail and description which allowed the reader to picture exactly what was going on in the small town in Germany.
Hey Chris, I just wanted to say thank you for your storybook comment. You gave some good pointers on how to improve my story as well as some encouraging words to keep me motivated. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHey Chris,
ReplyDeleteI was just reading back through the comments on my Comment Wall, and wanted to thank you for the feedback you gave me! Even though I have not got around to changing up my format and the colors like you suggested, I still really appreciate the opinion.
Chris, from the start, I was intrigued by your storybook. The layout is great--I love the background and font that you chose! The dark colors give it a kind of menacing look and they definitely set the tone for the rest of the story.
ReplyDeleteYour introduction was very well written. I can almost hear a deep, hoarse, gravelly voice telling these stories to me as I read (side note: sometimes I imagine the voice of Dean Winchester from Supernatural in my head--but maybe that's just me). You did a great job describing the man's life and his credentials, so to speak, as well as setting up the premise of his story.
In "The Vampire," the tone you set at the beginning continued--the reader can tell from the colloquialisms that this is a tough soldier who is a little rough around the edges, but also one who has a bit of a sense of humor (descriptive words like "jovially" jump out at me). Overall, this was very well written and kept me hooked the entire time! Great job, and I hope to read more of your work in the future.
Hi, I’m from the Epics of India class! So I’m a little intrigued by your storybook background (am I the only one that thinks it looks like something out of WoW?). I definitely think you should try and find a background that isn’t a game screenshot (something real preferably). As for your intro story, I thought it was interesting and the voice of the narrator really rang true. I just think you need to separate out your paragraphs more instead of just having two big chunks of text. I really love your narrator, I just think you can space out his writing more so that it’s less overwhelming. I don’t know if I like your werewolf picture being on the coverpage. I think something else would be more fitting, but I’m just not sure what. Maybe a hooded man hunched over a pint? I don’t know, but I think you should save the pictures of monsters for the stories involving said monsters. I also think you should include a picture in your introduction. You got this great, captivating narrator and I’d like to see him or his surroundings a bit more. Now, don’t get me wrong, I really liked your storybook, I just think changing these things would make it a bit better!
ReplyDeleteHi, Chris! I think your storybook idea is really interesting. First of all, I like the background you chose a lot. It enhances the scene in the narration in a way I haven’t seen other storybooks do. The picture on your cover page also worked well with the darker theme of your storybook.
ReplyDeleteI thought the voice of the narrator was great. Throughout the introduction I could picture an old, scarred man sitting in an old tavern (like the background) telling all young men about the old days when monsters ran-a-muck. You did great giving background in the introduction. With him talking about what creatures had scarred him in different ways, we really got the sense of the type of life he had lived. You also did great setting the scene in Germany’s forest. I also thought the font was very fitting for the theme off the storybook. The only recommendation I have for the introduction would be to maybe add a picture. While it’s not a big thing, I think having another monster picture would be great for the look and feel of the page.
I also liked your first story. The picture you used for the story was absolutely perfect. It continued with the dark mood and theme that fit perfectly with the story’s plot. I’m glad you made some of the story more ambiguous than the original, like not including the specifics for reviving the couple or the amount of wood needed for the vampire’s pyre. I think that would have distracted from the overall story and lost some of the narrator’s voice. Really great job so far! I’ll look forward to reading more of your storybook.
Chris,
ReplyDeleteYour cover page is awesome and I like the image that you have decided to use. The background to your site makes much more sense once readers begin the introduction. Since the background is darker, I like how you decided to use a white font to make the text eye catching. Your storybook is titled "Monster Hunter," and I like how this plays into the choice of narrator. I am very interested to see what your stories have in store! Since your narrator is telling a story from his past, presumably around or near a fire, I like how you decided not to add an image to your introduction. This gives the reader room to come up with their own interpretations of the monsters, and the scars on the narrator, that you describe.
Like the introduction, your first story was well written! I have not read the Russian Folktales Unit, but when I make comparisons using your author's note (for the original) and your story, I can say that I find your story much more interesting. I like how you opted to leave out a few details in order to reconstruct the story to be your own. The only thing I would suggest is maybe replacing your image where your narrator first describes coming across the vampire in the cemetery, but that is just my preference. I will have to come back and read more of your stories in the following weeks, good job!
I know I commented this on the storytelling post but I wanted to let you know that I really like the layout of your blog. I love earthy toned colors so the colors of your page are awesome and the map up at the top! I am horrible at geography but I love old fashioned maps! One thing that I noticed it, the labels at the very top, all of the week labels except the first week are hidden. It isn't too much of a problem, I just noticed.
ReplyDeleteHi Chris,
ReplyDeleteI really liked the way your introduction to your storybook project was written! It was engaging and mysterious all at once. The way the old man has a story to go with each scar is so intriguing, and his good humor makes me want to hear all of the stories.
I am also a huge fan of the cabin background you used! It definitely sets the tone well.
I was a little confused during the transition from the introduction to the first story. At the end of the introduction, the old man said he was going to tell the story behind the scar on his shoulder. But the beginning of the first story starts with him telling the story of how he got the scar on his forehead.
I was also a little confused that he had to go pick up his revolver and sword if he usually carried them with him.
I liked how the ogre outsmarted the man in the end. It's nice when stories end more realistically sometimes. But I was curious as to how the ogre could turn itself into a woman and what it was planning to do with the arm. Was it going to reattach it?
Nice job with your project so far!
Thanks for pointing out the messed up chronology, I thought I had fixed it but formatting hasn't been working for me. It should go intro->vampire->ogre, I wouldn't have noticed it for a while. I'll keep trying to fix the formatting. Thanks again
DeleteChris,
ReplyDeleteI love your storybook idea. I love vampires and werewolves and other such creatures so I had to see what yours was about. I was definitely not disappointed. I think your homepage is just wonderful. I love the background you chose. The cabin was an obvious choice for the hunting aspect and something about a secluded cabin in the cold, dense woods and monsters just goes hand in hand. I really like the image you used too. Since you have a very detailed background using a simple image was nice so it didn't look too busy and neither took away from the other. I also like that it almost looks like the werewolf is inside the cabin.
Your introduction was written very well. I like that you gave the man telling the story some background of how he came to be a monster hunter and how he got all of his crazy scars. My only complaint is that it can be hard to read because of the background. Making the font white definitely helped, but at certain points I felt like my eyes had to refocus. But other than that, I love this idea and I want to keep reading!
Hi Chris! I decided to come back to your storybook this week for my free choice because it so impressed me the last time, and I'm glad I did! I was pleasantly surprised to see that you chose to retell the story of the Ogre of Rashomon--when I was brainstorming storybook ideas, I too thought about doing a monsters theme, and this was my top storytelling choice.
ReplyDeleteYour use of details and imagery was very well done, and I could vividly see the events unfolding as you told your story. My favorite parts about this, however, were the twists that you added, all the changes that you made to the original tale. One thing that gets me is how our hero gets his scar--after all that, his injury comes from tripping over the arm, ouch. (Granted, it was dark and I probably would have done the same thing...but still, haha.)
I do like how you changed the details of where the arm was kept, and how you mentioned that the hunter would see it as more of a trophy--certainly, someone with his credentials and goals would do so. You're doing a great job of portraying the protagonist's personality through his words and thoughts rather than describing him outright.
Keep up the great work!
Hey Chris! I remembered reading your story earlier in the year and it had a strong focus on the militia and combat so when I saw the title of your storybook, I thought it was very fitting for you. Your title, “Monster Hunter”, reminded me of the show Supernatural. I’m not sure if it is still airing, but it is about two brothers that travel and fight against evil supernatural beings.
ReplyDeleteThe whole look of your site is great. I like your background picture being the bar where all the stories are being told. It adds a sort of spooky feel to the website. The font is easy to see against the back. However, it is a little bit difficult to read because the letters are in all caps. It is not a huge issue though.
You also write very well. You have a great use of imagery and imagination. The content of your stories and introduction are thrilling and creative. Your spins on the original stories really make the story your own. It also works well with your overall storybook. I can see that you think through each story and make sure the details are precise for readers. Your whole website fits together very nicely! I cannot wait to see your last story!
Woah! You have a cool background for your coverpage! Where did it come from? It looks as if it's from a video game. Talk about a great way to make your readers feel as if they are part of the story.
ReplyDeleteThe tone you create in your introduction and the diction you use set up your story wonderfully. When combined with the background, the narrator's way of speaking evokes that feeling of excitement one feels when he or she is about to hear a story. I will say that the white font can be a bit difficult to read at times, but I don't think you have a better choice. A really light tan might work, or you might try experimenting with a different font.
Your first story, "The Vampire," comes across as realistic. The plot elements are believable, and the narrator tells it in a way that fits his personality. I will say that I was surprised to see that the arrival of dawn signaled the end of the vampire. I was expecting that your protagonist would find a way to burn the vampire alive. However, I don't think that's something you need to change. All in all, I do not have too many suggestions. I would just read it out loud and see what you think for yourself! Great work!
Hi Chris,
ReplyDeleteI was excited to check back in with your storybook project this week and see how you are progressing. I really enjoyed the addition of your vampire story. I thought the pacing moved quickly, which was good, and you gave enough explanation as to the magic and the vampire in most sections.
The only thing I was confused about was why the vampire would want to bring the newlyweds back to life the next day. Did he want to be a hero deep down? Or did he have some sort of selfish motive for bringing the couple back to life?
In the sentence "The villagers burned the remains of the vampire on a pyre, making sure no part of escaped the blaze. After I had rested up and recovered from my wounds, I continued my journey back home a richer man," I think there is a word missing between 'of' and 'escaped.' I just wanted to let you know.
I really liked your plot twist where the rooster's crow stopped the vampire. Was that because he couldn't be outside during daylight?
I thought you did a great job of making the necessary changes to the story that you talked about in your author's note. It was adapted well into your character's perspective.
I think that you have done a great job with your cover page! I really like the colors you picked and think they speak to the darker theme. I also think that the picture you used is great! It really is creepy so I feel that it is helping to paint a picture of what is to come in the readers mind! I like how you used a background picture on the page instead of just a solid color. I have not seen many others do that, but I think it enhances the visual appeal greatly! The only suggestion I have for you about the cover page is to make your picture in the center of the page. I feel that it draws the eye off to the side, and it would be more beneficial to have it in the middle!
ReplyDeleteI love your introduction post! I think that you picked such a cool theme for your storybook and it will allow for you to be so creative! I think your introduction is written very well and that you were successful in painting the dark room that the wolf was sitting in while telling this part of the story.
I really liked your vampire story. I think you did such a great job of being very descriptive. I love how the wolf does not threaten the vampire at this point. I think the picture is also great and really helps to strengthen the story! Overall great job so far!
I really picked out your storybook solely on the name of the site and because it is getting close to Halloween. The homepage looks like you really took your time to make this site fit your stories well. Your background, the pictures, the fonts, the colors, everything goes along with your theme.
ReplyDeleteI really like the introduction and the way that this character is narrating. He sounds like my weird great uncle. As they say, chicks dig scars and glory is forever! But really, you set up the whole theme well with a lot of dialogue from the hunter and lots of little examples to give us a taste of what it is yet to come. Also, bonus points for making them into actual war stories and for him smoking a pipe while telling the story.
I only read the story with the ogre in it. Your choice to match each story up with a specific scar really adds to the character and the small details that sometimes get lost in fairy tales and folk stories. The setting still being in Germany really sticks to the old stories so that you do not even have to change them much if you did not want to. The story was very enjoyable, and the fact that the scar was actually just from him tripping was hilarious. I really enjoy your theme and your stories so far, and I will definitely be back to read the rest of them. Good job!
I still really like your design and think that it is very fitting for the story of the ogre. The picture you used was fantastic as it showed an ogre that matched the description in the story.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story and thought it was very clever of the ogre to disguise himself as a person in order to regain his arm. The descriptive detail you used throughout the story was awesome, make sure to keep that up for the rest of your stories! The story was great and sounded like it came out of a novel. It was very interesting that the people turned on the main character after one failure when he had done so much for the town. I think that says a lot about the, “What have you done for me lately?” attitude that is rampant among society today.
I thought your storytelling was clever and it was nice to see where the monster killer came from and what his origins were. I loved how the scars tell the stories as that is true for us as we grow up, but the scars are much more significant. I can’t wait to see what comes next!
Chris,
ReplyDeleteFor starters I LOVE your sites theme! It is very different from most of the lay outs I have seen and definitely sets you a part from the rest in a good way! I also love that you are having an old man telling these stories. I like that you can tell he has been through some rough things in his life. He is a war vet and a previous monster hunter, yet he still funny! I think it is interesting and genius that each story is going to go with one of this man's scars. You know that these are going to have to be pretty intense stories to have left a scar on this tough man. I would hate to be one of the creatures he hunted!
I love your vampire story. It is written very well! I read through it very easily! I like that you kept so close to the original story. It is not one that I am overly familiar with, but I liked it a lot.
I liked the Ogre story as well. It was a really exciting and action packed story. I had no idea that ogres could change appearances. All I can think about with ogres is shrek.
You have done a really great job with your storybook! I love it! As a conclusion, I would like to know if you watch Supernatural? If not, based off of your storybook, I feel like you would really like it.
Hey Chris!
ReplyDeleteThis is my second visit to your storybook this semester. I have to say, your title is definitely one that sticks in your mind. When I looked at my storybook group for this week and saw "Monster Hunter," I immediately was taken back to your tale of the grizzled old monster hunter veteran telling the stories of his youth. I really enjoyed this exciting and supernatural series of stories you came up with, so I was eager to see what the monster hunter's next tale would be after his encounter with the drunken vampire last time around.
Your tale of the Ogre had me on the edge on my seat the whole time I was reading it. These truly sound like some nasty creatures to deal with! The picture of the Ogre provided an even more terrifying image of these creatures; the ogre depicted looks truly monstrous, and those claws look like they could do some damage to the monster hunter. When the monster hunter was going out to kill the last ogre wreaking havoc in the area, I thought surely the scar would come from the ogre's attack. I thought it was funny that after all this battling, the scar came from the hunter simply tripping and hitting his head on a rock.
Hey Chris, this was actually my first time to visit your Storybook site and I was very impressed. The home page honestly looked like a combination between a horror film and video game. I thought it was perfect to represent your overall story and theme! The picture of the werewolf is really spooky!!! I thought you did an excellent job on the introduction, having the old man explain his scars were awesome. I instantly wanted to know more about the stories behind all the scars. I had never read the Russian folktales unit, however, I kind of wish I had after reading your first story! I thought it was neat how you changed the setting from Russia to Germany since you have more of a background with Germany. I love the titles for your stories with the mythological creatures. I thought you did an excellent job with the photos for each of the stories; they were perfect! I liked how both of your stories included so much adventure and action, which made them so much fun to read! I can’t wait to read the next story!
ReplyDeleteYour introduction starts off great! I like the background choice. It almost makes you feel like you are in an old creepy cabin being told these stories. The way you voice the monster hunter actually had me reading the introduction with an old raspy voice envisioned in my head. The idea of this man telling his stories behind his scars and how he got them was a very clever way to introduce the narrator for your stories to come. It also allows you to connect the various stories through the use of his physical scars. By having him point out the scars (the one on his eye, shoulder, etc) it makes the reader want to know why did he get the one on his arm or what about the one on his shoulder? You did a great job in captivating the reader to want to know about his scars.
ReplyDeleteI read your first story about the vampire and really enjoyed it! I like how you mentioned he was “emboldebed by the booze.” It seems very realistic that a guy would make a dumb decision like go out into the night with a vampire on the loose, when he has had a night with the guys drinking. You do a great job with using adjectives to describe the dialogue. Instead of ______ said. It was ____ said jovially or menacingly. It adds personality to the characters of the story. I thought your story was great! My only suggestion would be to maybe switch back at the end to mention that this battle was how he got the scare on his shoulder, since that’s how you introduced the story at the end of your introduction.
Hey Chris,
ReplyDeleteWhen I first saw the cover page to your storybook my eyes were immediately drawn to the picture of the werewolf. The image itself has a lot of detail to it. You can see some of the individual hairs on the creature. The picture helps set the eerie mood that you are trying convey to the reader. The background image reminds me a lot of the online game Runescape. It has this rpg feel to it.
The persona that you create in your introduction is done really well. I can just picture this big burly man with a tremendous beard to go with his size. You did a good job in hinting at what monsters we may or may not see. It is also good to hear what some of the monsters are.
I enjoyed the vampire story quite a bit. I liked your descriptions of the way people speak. I would have liked you to describe the scar a little bit more. Since it is a major plot point to your stories I would have liked to hear it described a bit more.
Hey Chris,
ReplyDeleteI'm back again to read about some more monster hunting. I am positive that I've read your storybook before, but I couldn't find my old comment. I don't know what happened? Anyways, I love the whole look and feel of your storybook. It is definitely has the creepy and scary vibe that I would expect from a Monster Hunter's website haha. I still that your idea is one of the most original in the class. I think talking to a retired monster hunter about his old adventures would be awesome!
I really enjoyed your story about the vampire, but I like this one about the ogre even more! I still like that each scar our hunter has leads him to another story. I also kind of like that the ogre didn't give him the scar, but that he got it by tripping over its arm haha! I like that at this point in his career, the hunter is almost exclusively concerned with his reputation. With how easily he dispatched that ogre, it would seem that his reputation was well deserved. He still seems like a grizzly old man telling war stories, and I love it. Your storybook is definitely one of my favorites. Nice work, man!
Chris, you chose a video game background haha! I love it! It reminds me of the Elder Scrolls in a way. Is that right? Your introduction really caught my attention because it almost reminded me of a game story. I can imagine his scars and the war he probably endured with monsters. Good job putting some humor in the story as well. That’s one way to be able to move your stories forward by someone telling their experiences and memories of a world.
ReplyDeleteThe Vampire is an awesome story too. He sounds like a pretty bad monster terrorizing everyone but it throws me off that the vampire is educated and willing to help people. Of course, if he had just trusted people he wouldn’t have to kill everyone once they learn about him! The hunter really gets himself into some serious situations, huh?
Overall you have an impressive way of telling these stories. I love the Russian folktales! That’s an amazing way to recreate your own story especially since vampire stories are very big in that unit. The hunter is a fantastic character and I really enjoyed reading your storybook! Good job and keep up the creativity. You definitely deserve that nomination!